Remembering Margaux, with love

Margaux Hippenmeyer

1988 - 2005

As many of you will already know our beloved Margaux, lost her battle against cancer and died at home, on the 25th of July 2005, just a few weeks after her 17th birthday. 

For those of you, who knew Margaux and who were unable to attend her funeral, which took place on the 4th of August 2005 or indeed the Memorial Service held at St. George's School on the 5th of December 2005, we have committed some of our thoughts from those difficult days to paper. 

Pictured above: Margaux and Lizzie, 
Spring Ball 2005

Eulogy given by Mrs Gaye Zund, retired-Headmistress of St. George's School, at Margaux's funeral

The stars are not wanted now, put out every one,
Pack up the moon, dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean, sweep up the wood
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

W H Auden.

When I got the tragic news of Margaux' death I felt a profound sadness and a huge anger and, like the poet, W H Auden writing in similar circumstances, I felt the only answer to such a flagrant injustice was that the world should stop turning. That beautiful, courageous, compassionate Margaux, so full of optimism, joie de vivre and plans for the future should have been taken at the dawn of her 17th year was quite simply an outrage to me particularly considering the combat Margaux waged during the last 14 months against what can only described as the Monster, that was her illness.

When the illness was diagnosed in May of last year Margaux was about to start her IGCSE exams. Margaux astounded me then because she seemed to view this intruder with nothing more than a sort of mild irritation!  Whereas most people would have raged at the injustice and launched into the 'why me' syndrome Margaux, with a wisdom beyond her years, obviously understood that serious illness is not just something that happens to everybody else and the exceptional courage she showed from there on came to the fore immediately. I remember visiting Margaux in the CHUV on the afternoon when she had been given the news that her eagerly anticipated après IGCSE plans would have to be swopped for a summer of intense, tough medical treatment. 

There was no sign of self pity in Margaux that day. Instead she was busy planning and she had already made 2 important decisions. The first that she would take her IGCSE exams although her parents were suggesting she should shelve the exams and concentrate on getting better and the second decision she had made was that she would keep a record of her experience because she thought she might like to be a journalist or a writer and the diary she would keep would be the basis for her first book, maybe. Great idea, I said, while in my head thinking what a fantastic attitude and that was just the beginning. Margaux went on to astound everybody with her unwavering courage and optimism. What a wonderful legacy of courage Margaux has left us all and especially her young friends.  In their sadness today I hope the shining example of Margaux' s exceptional courage will be a source of strength to them.

If Margaux symbolises courage to me she also means compassion. You did not have to look far into her soulful, brown eyes to see a wealth of love and compassion there. Margaux cared for people and with people. Her love for her brother, Nick, her parents and her dog was very much in evidence there in her hospital room from the photos with which she surrounded herself to Margaux saying to me 'I am going home this afternoon? Seeing the doubtful look on my face as I knew she was due to have some difficult treatment that afternoon Margaux said again even more firmly I am going home this afternoon and home Margaux went because you could add to Margaux' courage a very large measure of determination.

Margaux' compassion was not limited to her family and friends she was very involved in Social Services in St George's. In my mind's eye I can still see her arriving at my office with yet another calorie -laden delight which she was selling with her friends for Social Services and which I could never resist of course!  I hold her personally responsible for several cm's around my waistline!

Margaux has come to mean Dignity to me too with a capital letter D. What dignity she showed in the face of an illness that allows none. How graciously she accepted the side-effects, the pain and the intense suffering the Monster brought.  I was delighted when I opened a local paper only a few weeks ago and there was Margaux looking so elegant and up-beat at the Spring Ball. What insolence vis-à-vis the Monster!

Yes, The Monster that broke Margaux' body never as much as touched her spirit.

Courage, compassion, dignity the qualities Margaux personified are, ironically, the qualities most needed in the world today which underlines even more the unfairness of her death.

But, in the words of Queen Elizabeth II, 'Grief is the price we pay for love' and which of us would choose a life without love so we are called upon to grieve in our lives and today we grieve for our beautiful Margaux. But when tomorrow comes we must not forget Margaux and her battle with the Monster. Social Services and the Music depart in St. George's have already shown us the way with the CD, "The Dog Ate My Homework", which they produced last term. It is for us now to pick up the torch they have lit by continuing to subscribe today and regularly to Margaux's charity as it has come to be known.  If the money we give funds research that helps to beat the Monster then Margaux will not have died in vain and it will put a big smile on her face; I know.

I would finish by reading you a poem. This poem could have been written by Margaux herself, I feel. It was written by a young woman called, Mary Frye, in 1932.

Do not stand by my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on winter snow
I am the sunlight on ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft light of stars at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die

Mrs Gaye Zund,
4th August, 2005

Illustration by
Margaux Hippenmeyer,
Year 11

Memorial Service December 2005

On Monday the 5th of December, a Memorial Service, organised by Miss Hickey, was held for Margaux in the Sports Hall at St. George's School.

Margaux's parents and brother Nick, were joined by the staff and students of St. George's, Professor Leyvraz of the Fond'action Contre le Cancer, Reverend Clive Atkinson, Mr Guy Chessex of St. George's School Council and many of the parents of current and past students.

Following the welcome given by Mrs Steinson, Rev Clive Atkinson gave a very up-lifting homily full of comforting thoughts and happy memories of Margaux. The school choir, under the direction of Mr Peter Onslow, sang a haunting tune in German, called "Still, Still, Still".

Miss Darina Hickey, Margaux's Head of House spoke next, remembering with great fondness, Margaux's time at St. George's.  Margaux's tutor, Miss Kathryn Beckett then read a beautiful poem, "Remember" by Christina Rossetti.

Another piece from the school choir, "May it Be" from the Lord of the Rings, was followed by the reading of a favourite poem of Margaux's, "Nightingales in the Snow",  by Lizzie Plumb, a very close  friend of Margaux's.

The service concluded with the reading of an extract from "The Prophet" in Spanish by Isabel Edwards and an address by Mr Robert Hippenmeyer who shared with us some treasured memories of Margaux. A final piano performance by Lynn Teo, "November" drew the service to a close.

Tree Planting Ceremony December 2005

After the Memorial Service Mr and Mrs Hippenmeyer, Nick, Mrs Steinson, Professor Leyvraz, Reverend Atkinson, Miss McHugh and the Heads of House joined Year 13 in the gardens near the Sports Hall for a Tree Planting Ceremony.

A Red Oak was planted in Margaux's memory in this temporary location, until our building work has been completed. Placed next to the oak was a  bench with a plaque dedicated to Margaux's memory.  Over the years, we hope that students who sit on this bench, will remember Margaux and her great courage.

The service commenced with a poem being recited for Margaux by Head of School and classmate of Margaux's, Chris Hutton.  An address was then given by Margaux's mum, Mrs Lesley Hippenmeyer, the content I am pleased to be able to share with those of you who were not present  ...

"When Margaux was confronted with the long and rocky road that lay ahead of her, she took it bravely and with dignity, fearlessly defying every setback that crossed her path. And even though doubt loomed large down that road she was on, where she often asked herself; “Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?”

The answer is this; She was the light. And that light will remain with us always.  

We are gathered here together in Margaux’s memory, and to witness the planting of this tree, and all that symbolizes life. A tree is the bridge between the past, represented by its strong roots, and the future, symbolized by the sweet fruit. Today we plant this tree, not only in memory of Margaux, but to express the hope that in the future, we can celebrate the joys of life and freedom, and the victory over cancer.

Thank you God, for giving us Margaux, without whom, our lives would undoubtedly be much darker.

I’d like to finish off with a short poem by Edgar Allan Poe.  

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow—
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;

Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?  

All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand—

 How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem

But a dream within a dream?

 Edgar Allan Poe - A Dream Within A Dream

Chris recites a poem for Margaux at the Tree Planting Ceremony held on 5.12.2005.

Lesley Hippenmeyer shares some of her thoughts with us at Tree Planting Ceremony for Margaux.

Members of the family and friends place a shovel of earth around the newly planted oak.

Mr & Mrs Hippenmeyer with Nick on Margaux's bench.  Both the bench and the tree will be relocated to the gardens at the front of school once all building work has been completed.

Madame Chambovey, Mr Chapuis, Mrs Steinson, Miss Hickey and the Hippenmeyer family at the Tree Planting Ceremony.  "Always in our thoughts Margaux ... forever in our hearts".

Presentation to Fond'action Contre le Cancer

Due to the generosity of the Marchionne family, Fiat, the School Council and the entire community of St. George's, Mr David Chapuis was able to present a cheque for 100,000 Swiss Francs to Professor Leyvraz of the Fond'action Contre le Cancer.  Our hope is that this money will go towards research into finding a cure for "Soft Tissue Cancer".